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Why Men Worship Lingerie, and The Qualms We Have With Lingerie
Stores
By
R Ksiazek
I
must first present the disclaimer: as only one man,
I cannot, and will not, speak for the rest of my
gender. I can only present my side of the story and
the details and ideas I have personally acquired
throughout my short yet informative and experienced
mature life.
From a time I can barely recall, lingerie has been a
dear part of my heart. At that certain point in a
man’s premature teenage years, he begins to take
notice of the opposite gender. Much of this takes
place in anything he can get his hands on:
department store catalogs, an uncle’s pornographic
magazine collection, and most recently, I suppose
the internet.
My memories take me back to a tree fort belonging to
the boys of the neighborhood. We spent many long
summers building and perfecting the gathering place
where we would share the freshest contraband we
could somehow acquire. Probably not too far a
stretch from most ordinary boys and their
neighborhood pals.
My college years were not too different. Living with
male roommates, there was no shortage of adult
magazines to flip through while watching another
rerun of “The Simpsons.” These porno mags seemed
central to all bathroom reading material belonging
to most male inhabited apartments or houses I had
the pleasure of stepping into.
My adoration of the porno mag was not just about the
bare image of a lady. It had just as much to do with
the glamorous lingerie she was in the middle of
taking off. What is it about lingerie that starts a
young lad’s engine? Men are much more visual than
our counterparts, this I understand.
But why would I rather see a lady in fine lingerie
than with nothing on at all? The only answer I can
give is the imagination. Since we are such visual
creatures, we rely on our perception. This scenario
may be similar to the “beer goggles” one may
experience late at night. We lean on our imagination
and perception to trigger our sexual fantasies. We
close our eyes and dream of the possibilities.
Lingerie is the trigger of our minds’ endless
pursuit of fantasy.
Then why do I freeze up in the lingerie store?
It may be for none other than lack of knowledge. We
(men) are not here on Earth to predict the
unpredictable. We go with the flow. There is no way
to know what kind of lingerie she will like, and we
will undoubtedly buy her a size that will leave her
feeling insulted.
When we see a woman in an appealing ensemble of
intimates, we always seem to know what we like, but
we cannot possibly transfer this data to what she
will like. We can satisfy ourselves in this
situation, but never the other. Therefore, we both
lose.
There will be a time when we hit the jackpot,
though. It’s a numbers game. If we buy her enough
lingerie, we are bound to get it right at least
once. This is no minor victory in the man’s mind.
The fireworks will be seen by all, and those who
missed it will get the play-by-play.
Lingerie follows the golden rule of gift giving in
general: it is the thought that counts. This is the
rule we truly understand, and when we fail we have
no excuses. To repair the damage, most of us resort
to the action we should’ve taken in the first place.
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