|
Contrary
to what they say in the magazines and on-line now, you don't
have to spend a fortune to have a wonderful, memorable wedding.
I tell my clients and my readers that the most important part of
making a wedding memorable is focusing on and prioritizing what
you want to achieve. Fortunately, that same focus will help you
save money as well!
You can
look at all the planning guidelines and timelines in magazines
and on websites for ideas of things you might do, but don't get
boxed in by them-- real weddings come together in a much
different way than magazines and many experts suggest.
You and
your fiancé need to sit down and really talk and think about
what you want MOST for the wedding-- a certain location, a large
guest list, great photography, a really fancy gown and
accessories. Start making notes of what you really want and what
you can live without. Compare your ideas, and compromise when
necessary, to come up with a wedding you'll both love.
When you
have an idea of what's most important to you, you can start
finding out what those things will cost. Call around, ask
around, make notes, add things up. Then when you have an idea of
what you'll do, start with the most important priorities FIRST,
so you make sure you can afford them. Then you can compromise
on, or even omit, some of the less important things as your
budget gets stretched.
The
following is a compilation of ideas I have sent to various
brides who were looking to keep their expenses and/or weddings
small, but memorable.
General
Budget/Cash Flow Issues--
~ Careful
timing can reduce reception costs. Do you have a time set for
the wedding? If you don't want to spend a lot on refreshments,
plan the wedding and reception at a time other than mealtime.
This is tricky because the length of time a wedding and
reception takes, but you can work with it a little.
Usually,
for instance, it's tough to have a morning wedding early enough
to avoid feeding the guests lunch. Even a very short ceremony
and reception that starts at 10 am is going to run into
"lunchtime" (and some guests may expect brunch, since many
morning weddings offer that.)
In the
afternoon, you could plan the wedding to start, say, 1:30 or 2
pm, and figure you can have people on their way before 5 if
there are no real activities except socializing and limited
light refreshments.
In the
evening, you can work it the same way, if you wish. Any ceremony
after about 6:30 pm (or certainly 7) would be "after dinner" (in
most regions), so you could plan to only serve dessert rather
than a buffet or meal.
~ Make
some things for the wedding yourself. Doing-it-yourself is not
always as much cheaper as it used to be, but it still saves you
labor charges, if you have creative talents and energy. I
encourage couples and families to make garters or bridesmaids
dresses, arrange flowers, cook the reception food-- whatever
they are good at. It's cheaper, and it's often more meaningful
to have had a hand in the preparations personally. Also, many
family and friends really ENJOY helping out with wedding prep.
Don't be afraid to ask! : )
~ Consider
marrying on Friday evening. This is NOT the most convenient
arrangement, because people have to get out of work early, etc.
It can also be difficult for any out-of-town guests you might
have, because it may force them to take an additional day off
work to arrive in time for all the festivities. But you can
sometimes get discounts on sites and services. If you are
*really* tight in the budget, this could be an option worth
researching.
~~One
other **very important** thing to remember when money is
tight--- most of your bills will come due right before the
wedding. Usually you pay 1/2 up-front for services, and then the
last couple weeks before the wedding, everyone wants their other
half paid. BE PREPARED FOR THIS! Try to look ahead so you will
have the cash flow you need when all those payments go out at
once. If you can, save extra *right away* while you are in the
early planning stages, because you will need it later.
Also, plan
your budget *smaller* than you think you could really afford. If
your wedding expenses come within that figure, that will be
great. But if one or two things turn out to be more expensive
than you expected, you won't be right at the absolute limit of
your funds. It will give you peace of mind.
Location/Guest List--
~ Keep
your guest list small. The more people, the bigger the location,
the more food, the more invitations, etc.
~ Have the
wedding and reception in the same place. It's trendy to have
them separate locations, but frankly, as a guest, I really
dislike the practice (all that extra driving and parking). And
from the couple's standpoint, it's much cheaper to do it all in
one place. It's also more convenient and relaxing for everyone
involved.
~ Consider
an less-traditional location. In most areas, many attractive
locations are willing to have weddings-- not just the churches,
hotels and country clubs where most weddings take place. Some
non-traditional locations will cost you more, but others may
cost *considerably* less. So do some research, and make some
calls. Likely locations include, parks (local, state and
national), bed-and-breakfasts, country inns, restaurants, public
gardens, historic homes or monuments, museums, galleries, and
private homes of friends or family.
When
considering the suitability of *any* location, be sure to find
out not just about the price to rent the location, but also
about parking, seating, restrooms, food preparation and/or
storage, dressing areas, security, electrical hook-ups,
restrictions or regulations (on alcohol, attire, photography or
videography, decorations, etc.) Anything not provided or
conveniently available may cost you more to rent or provide on
your own.
Attire--
~ The two
best ways to save money on attire are to dress very casually, or
to sew your own (or have a friend or relative sew your) gown
and/or bridesmaids' gowns. But even casual gowns can be quite
costly in the current market, unless you are able to take
advantage of sales or other discounts.
Home-sewn
gowns are less popular now than they were in the 70's and 80's.
However, since the current styles and fabrics are actually
fairly easy to sew, it seems a shame that more brides and their
families do not make use of this option--especially for
bridesmaids and flowergirls.
Obviously,
good general sewing skills and a dependable sewing machine are
necessary, as well as a reasonable "eye" for fitting. But if you
consider that a bride recently commented to me that she was
*happy* to find a flowergirl dress for "only" $99 (other similar
gowns were as much as $150), it seems clear that sewing should
be an option budget-conscious brides at least *consider*.
~
Headpieces and some accessories are very inexpensive to make, as
well. Good instructions are available in books and with
patterns. If you are creative at all, you might look into this
option. Mark-ups on headpieces, especially, are VERY high in
most bridal boutiques, so this can net you a big savings from
retail.
~ If you
will buy your gown "off-the-rack", big discount bridal stores
and on-line resources can offer lower prices-- but consider what
you may, or may not, get from these sources in the way of
quality, personal service, dependability, selection,
alterations, etc. Some are excellent; others are not. Working
with a company or resource you have personal references for is
the best, whenever possible.
~ If you
will hire a dressmaker to save money, remember that the talents
and prices and quality provided will vary considerably. You
might be fortunate to have a very inexpensive, but fabulously
talented dressmaker available to you. On the other hand, to get
the best deal from a more expensive dressmaker or designer, you
might decide to simplify your fabric and detailing choices to
include only what's MOST important to you. The other advantage
of having a gown made is that, at least you will not have to
worry about alterations costs on top of the purchase price.
~ Menswear
costs can be reduced by having the men wear suits they own, for
example, rather than renting matching formalwear.
Decorations/Flowers--
~ If you
will use fresh flowers, try to choose varieties which will be
in-season at the time of your wedding date. Skip extra
arrangements on the altars, reception tables, etc. If you must
decorate these areas, consider using inexpensive live plants
(home centers, discount stores, large nurseries, and even
grocery stores sometimes have great prices on potted plants.) Be
sure, however, that any plants or flowers used near food are not
toxic.
~ Keep the
bouquets small. Let the bouquets do double-duty for decoration,
by laying them out on your tables at the reception. Consider
eliminating corsages and boutonnieres for anyone besides your
own and your fiancé's parents.
~ Consider
arranging silk or dried flowers yourself. The price of
professionally-arranged silk or dried bouquets is often about
the same as fresh flower prices. However, if you use careful
shopping, creative filler options, a bit of patience, and some
ingenuity, you can often save money by arranging silk or dried
flowers yourself. If you haven't worked with floral arranging
before, start with the boutonnieres. They are easy to handle and
help you get familiar with the general techniques and products
you will use on the larger arrangements.
~ Not all
locations need extra decorations. It is not necessary to totally
*transform* your ceremony or reception location in order to have
a beautiful and memorable wedding. If your budget is tight, do
the minimum you are comfortable with.
~ If you
really need some color and interest in a really boring reception
location (a common problem), I have seen really pretty, classy
effects achieved with really simple, inexpensive party
materials, like balloons, streamers (especially metallic or
pearlized), honeycomb wedding bells, inexpensive fabrics,
candles, confetti and glitter.
If you
choose to use materials like these, choose your colors carefully
so they are not too harsh, and look for ways to combine
materials and add small decorative details (silk flowers,
ribbons, floating beads, etc.) to create a more complex,
customized look.
Refreshments--
~ Your
choice of refreshments is very important to how much the
reception will cost.
Generally,
the least expensive reception is a cake and punch reception.
Cake is really the minimum food you should serve. You can cut
cake costs, if necessary, by having a very small decorative
and/or stacked cake, and supplementing the servings with
additional sheet cake in the same flavor. Punch is an easy and
inexpensive beverage, and it can be very fun to make (ideas for
a custom punch recipe can be found in A Bride's Touch on page
249).
A cake and
punch reception usually also includes coffee and perhaps tea,
individual sodas instead of punch if you prefer (but that costs
more), and sometimes champagne or other alcohol (but that's a
pricey item, too.) There has also recently been a trend toward
offering other desserts besides cake, so you could have a
"dessert and punch" reception for a little more than a standard
cake and punch affair.
A pot-luck
is next most expensive, because it should be assumed that you
and your family will contribute several dishes. In some social
circles, this works out very well, and makes for a very fun and
tasty reception. There is a lot of variety in the food
(something for everyone, usually) and even if some guests are
not able/willing to bring something, there's usually plenty.
This sort of arrangement works well for family- or
church-oriented weddings, where guests feel that bringing a dish
is a way to help the couple celebrate. In other circles, guests
may consider this in poor taste, feeling that the bride's (and
perhaps groom's family) should be treating the guests to a meal.
You would have to check around with family and friends to see
how they would feel about this idea.
Some
hosting families opt to prepare the food themselves. It gives
them control over the cost and menu, but eliminates the potluck
concept of asking others to bring something. If you have a lot
of guests, you could also ask for help from the bridal party
members and your closest family and friends.
Cold food
works the best for this because you can buy and prepare it
ahead. If you have family or friends willing to help, it's not
too taxing to have them each make a double or triple recipe of
one dish like potato or crab salad, or a platter of cold cuts,
or a tray of rolls. Warehouse and food service stores like Price
Club and Smart and Final have made this even easier, providing
good prices for large quantities, and (at Smart and Final and
other restaurant suppliers), low cost serving dishes and
utensils as well. I have found that big plastic punch bowls are
excellent for serving salads and other large dishes attractively
and economically.
Of
"catered" options, prices would range from purchasing trays at a
supermarket or other deli, to having a restaurant or caterer
provide trays or a simple buffet, to having a formal sit-down
dinner cooked by the kitchen at the reception site or a private
caterer, to really elaborate, multi-course banquets.
Entertainment--
~
Providing entertainment or activities costs extra, generally. If
you want to keep the reception low-key, skip or at least limit
music and dancing (this will also save you from having to rent a
dance floor). If you have access to a small sound system, at the
location or through a friend, you can supply your own background
music through CDs or cassettes.
You may or
may not need a microphone at all, depending on what you choose
to include in the way of toasts and announcements. If you keep
it really informal, just a chance to chat with guests, you can
get away with almost no extra equipment or related preparation.
This will also tend to keep the reception short, since guests
won't be staying late to dance and party.
Professionals--
~ Hiring
professionals, of course, accounts for a great chunk of many
wedding budgets. As a professional myself, and speaking for the
many fine wedding professionals I know, this is often money very
well spent. However, people have married *without* the help of
professional dressmakers, florists, caterers, photographers,
videographers, musicians, and event planners for hundreds of
years. And some couples still do.
If your
budget is really tight, pick your professionals with care.
Personally, for my own wedding, photography was the most
important professional priority (see article); and many couples
I have interviewed have felt the same. For you, it might be a
particular florist or caterer. But remember you *do not* have to
hire every professional suggested in the bridal magazines, or by
people you know. You can choose to spend the money you have on
what matters most to you.
~
Consultants, coordinators and event planners are currently
touted by most magazines, and many bridal advisors, as an
*essential* element of modern wedding planning. They site money
savings, higher quality wedding "results", planning-stress
reduction, and more. I think it is important to point out,
however, that many, if not most, weddings are planned *without*
the help of this type of professional. And most of them are
beautiful, happy, fun and memorable.
There
*are* situations where a bridal consultant, coordinator or event
planner is very helpful-- and still another few situations where
one *might* be essential. But if you are planning a relatively
average wedding, and you are concerned with keeping costs down,
this is a professional I believe you can safely skip-- no matter
what the magazines say.
Good
advice and information about wedding planning is available from
many free or inexpensive sources-- friends and family, your
local library, the internet, and many of the wedding
professionals with whom you will be working. Don't sell any of
these resources short!
And don't
let anyone intimidate you by making wedding planning seem more
complicated than it is. A lot of the people who emphasize the
stresses, costs, and frustrations of planning are either selling
something, or they have been heavily influenced by those who
are.
LOTS of
couples plan wonderful weddings without suffering tremendous
stress, without going into years of debt, without having
horrible fights with their future spouses-- and without losing
sight of the reason they are doing all of this in the first
place. You can, too! Best wishes to you!!
By
Sara L. Ambarian
- author/creative consultant/custom bridal designer
 |
