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Traditional Jewish weddings are replete with a
variety of rituals. The origins of these traditions
find their roots in both Bible-related customs,
traditions carried down through generations, and
vestiges of superstitious beliefs. Jews were
traditionally admonished not to believe in
superstition. The attitude of many Jews,
particularly in the Middle Ages, can best be summed
up in a quotation from the Sefer Hassidim, The Book
of the Pious, a scholarly 13th century German-Jewish
publication which dealt with the everyday lives of
traditional Jews: "One should not believe in
superstitions, but it is best to be heedful of
them."
A widespread beliefs not only in the Jewish
community, but throughout the word, is that demons
or evil spirits are especially prolific and present
during times of joy and life-cycle events such as
wedding. Many wedding customs, with Jewish customs
being no exception, have at least a part of their
origins in an attempt to ward off the envy and rage
of the spirit world and the belief that the bride
needed protection again the keayn eyein hara (the
evil eye). The custom of veiling the bride (badecken)
is traditionally explained by the reference to
Rebecca in Genesis (24:65) "Rebecca took her veil
and covered herself" upon her first meeting Isaac.
Popular legend attributes the badecken to the
Biblical story of Jacob and his wives. After working
seven years for permission to marry Rachel, Jacob
was tricked on his wedding day into marrying Leah,
instead (Genesis 29:25). To avoid such a mishap,
according to legend, the groom "checks" to be sure
than it is, indeed, his bride, before her veil is
lowered over her face.
Students of Jewish folklore believe that the use of
the veil by a Jewish bride may be an adaptation of a
Roman custom. Among Romans the bride wore a
full-length veil, which was used when she died as
her burial shroud. Among Oriental Jews, the veil is
made of opaque material. It is so designed to serve
as an affirmation that the bride is placing her
complete faith and trust in the man whom she is
about to marry. There once was a widespread belief
that demons were frightened of fire and scared away
by light. This belief formed the basis for many
couples, of a variety of religious backgrounds, to
walk down a protective aisle of torches and candles.
The custom continues today in many Jewish weddings
were two candles are carried to escort to bride and
groom to the wedding canopy. The more traditional
explanation explains that the numerical value for
the Hebrew word candle (nair) has the same value as
the biblical phrase in Genesis (1:28) "Be fruitful
and multiply."
During Jewish ceremonies, it is traditional that
males wear kippot (Yarmules in Yiddish), skullcaps,
as a head covering. The covering of the head is a
demonstration of the awareness that there is
something which is infinitely above our intellect
and symbolizes our sense respect and humility in the
presence of such a Being. Non-Jewish males may
choose to wear a kippah, as well. The chuppah or
bridal canopy is perhaps the central tradition at
most Jewish weddings. Usually it is made of
ornamented satin, or velvet -- supported by four
poles. Marriage ceremonies in the Middle Ages
customarily took place outdoors, as an omen that the
marriage should be blessed with as many children as
stars in the heavens. To make a space separate from
the surrounding marketplace, the rabbis sanctioned
the use of a chuppah.
Time and creativity have "turned it into" a variety
of other similar structures. The original meaning of
the word was "room" or "covering" from the phrase in
the Bible: "Let the bridegroom go forth from his
chamber and the bride out of her pavilion (chuppah)
(Joel 2:16). The chuppah symbolizes the new Jewish
home that the couple creates together. It may also
have origin is in the reference in the Bible to the
bridal bower in which the newlywed couple were
confined at the end of the wedding ceremony. In the
Middle Ages the custom evolved into a cloth, or
outer covering, that was spread over the bridal
couple as a means of protecting them from demonic
harm and the evil eye. Some believe that It is
reminiscent of the tents of the ancient Hebrews.
The tradition of having Honor Attendants also has
some Jewish roots. Legend has it that Michael and
Gabriel, two angels, attended the "wedding" of Adam
and Eve. Honor attendants are thus considered to be
model friends of the bride and groom. Hakafot, is
the custom of the bride circling the groom, in some
traditions seven times, in some three. This circling
is bride's way of demonstrating how central the
groom is to her thoughts and to her very being.
Another interpretation is based on the belief that
evil spirits seek to keep the young couple from the
fulfillment they look for in their marriage. The
"walking around" may serve to protect the husband
from the demons which seek to find him. The seven
hakafot corresponds to the seven marriage blessings
and may well also refer to the seven verses in the
Bible which says: " . . . and when man taketh a
wife." The three hakafot may be based on the verses
in Hosea (2:21-22) in which the word "betroth" is
used three times in an analogy of G-d as the
bridegroom speaks to Israel, the bride.
The Seven Blessings (shevah berachot) mark the
completion of the wedding ceremony. The blessings
are recited over wine or grape juice. It is the
seven blessings that join the new couple to their
community. A "new custom" has been added to add even
more symbolism. The two mothers and then the two
fathers (of the bride and of the groom) pass the
wine goblet to the bride. This symbolizes the
joining not only of the bride and the groom, but
also of their two families. It should be noted that
in Hebrew and in Yiddish there are specific words to
"name" the relationship between the bride's and
groom's families (mechutaneem), as apposed to the
somewhat pejorative and perhaps distancing
expression "in laws." Almost every Jewish wedding
ends with the traditional breaking of a glass.
The traditional explanation is that the smashing of
the glass adds a social component to the ritual and
dates back to Talmudic times when Rabbi Mar de-Rabina
felt that his disciples had become too frivolous at
the marriage of his son. Legend has it that he
grabbed a costly glass and threw it to the floor.
This had a sobering effect on his guests and gave
the clear message that in celebration there should
always be awe and "trembling, " as well. Some
believe that even in the height of their joy, the
couple must pause in remembrance of the destruction
of the Temple in Jerusalem. The shattered glass is a
reminder to all in attendance that the world is
replete with imperfection and it an imperative to
all to partake in Tikkun Olam, the mending of the
world. Smashing of glasses also has origins in
superstition.
Throughout the Near East smashing of glasses or
dishes was a common gesture thought to have magical
powers, symbolizing the smashing of the powers of
demons and any ill-wishers. In Germany, during the
Middle Ages, the marriage glass was thrown against a
special stone called a traustein, which was commonly
embedded in the outside wall of the synagogue. The
heaving of the glass, it was believed would fly in
the face of demons that traditionally descended from
the North. This act was thought to be a powerful
antidote to their evil abilities.
There are other rituals and traditions that are
practiced at a Jewish wedding. Many depend on the
level of observance of the couple. The ones
discussed in this article should be considered "the
basics." For more information . . . "The Jewish Book
of Why," by Alfred J. Kolatch, published by Jonathan
David Publishers.
By
Judy Lewis
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