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Wedding
Traditions
By Chuck
Bradford
With a tear in her eye and a lump in her throat, my mother
handed an old, discolored handkerchief to my fiancé on the eve
of our wedding, and requested that she continue a long-standing
tradition in my family by carrying this sentimental heirloom
down the aisle with her. My mother suggested that she keep it
close by to dry her tears of joy, just as it had been used to
dry my great-grandmother's eyes more than half a century ago.
Most likely, your mother has shared her courtship and wedding
experience with you, and if you are lucky, you've also heard the
treasured memories from your grandmothers' wedding. Ancestry,
cultural roots, and religious beliefs have shaped marriages for
thousands of years. Nearly all of the customs we observe today
are merely echoes of the past. Everything from the veil, rice,
flowers, and old shoes, to the bridesmaids and processionals, at
one time, bore a specific and vitally significant meaning. Some,
such as the bride wearing something old, something blue ..., or
not being seen by the groom in her wedding dress before the
ceremony, are known throughout the country and many other parts
of the world. Others may be regional or even maintained within
families from generation to generation.
Webster defines tradition as "the handing down of
information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example
from one generation to another without written instruction."
Perhaps traditions, by definition, were not meant to be written
down, but we've decided to break tradition this one time
by listing and summarizing some of the most popular customs
associated with weddings. Here you will discover the reasons
behind the rituals, as well as the history behind some of the
most well-known wedding traditions. Have fun reading through
these, and feel free to use or reinterpret them in your own
wedding or to create new family traditions and customs to be
handed down to your children and their offspring. Just think,
maybe someday, your "new custom" will be as unique and exciting
as these presented here.
SOMETHING OLD, NEW, BORROWED AND BLUE
The full wording of this popular bridal attire rhyme, which
dates back to the Victorian times is something old, something
new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in
your shoe'. Something old, signifying continuity, could be a
piece of lace, jewelry, or a grandmother's handkerchief.
Something new, signifying optimism in the future, could be an
article of clothing or the wedding rings. Something borrowed,
signifying future happiness, could be a handkerchief from a
happily married relative or friend. Something blue, signifying
modesty, fidelity and love, comes from early Jewish history. In
early Biblical times, blue -- not white -- symbolized purity.
Both the bride and groom usually wore a band of blue material
around the bottom of their wedding attire, hence the tradition
of "something blue". Originally the sixpence was presented to
the bride by her future husband as a token of his love. Today,
very often, it is the bride's father who places a coin in the
bride's shoe prior to leaving home for the church.
THROWING THE GARTER & TOSSING THE BOUQUET
Throwing the garter began in France when pieces of the bridal
attire were considered lucky. The bride would throw the garter
to the guests at the wedding and whoever caught it could expect
good luck. In the United States, the groom traditionally removes
the garter from the bride and throws it to the unmarried men.
The man who catches it is thought to
be the next to marry. Today, many brides will wear two garters.
The one she wishes to keep as a memento of her wedding day, and
another, to be retrieved and tossed by the groom to all the
young unmarried men attending the event. The "toss garter" is
likely to be in the color of the wedding, and not as elaborate
as the more decorative garters kept by the bride.
An offshoot of throwing the garter is the practice of tossing
the bouquet. At its inception, the bouquet formed part of the
wreaths and garlands worn by both the bride and groom. It was
considered a symbol of happiness. Today, when the bouquet is
tossed by the bride, the single woman who catches it is believed
to be the next to marry.
UNITY CANDLE
The lighting of the Unity Candle is a relatively new practice --
only about two decades old. Two small candles symbolize the
bride and groom and their families of origin. The large candle
in the middle represents their unity, and is lit by joining the
flames of the single candles. A more recent variation is to give
each guest a candle at the entrance of the ceremony, to be lit
from the unity candle which the couple will light together. This
is a symbolic gesture of having been a part of the lives of the
bride and groom, and is a visual expression of the bond that is
shared between the guest and the couple.
BREAKING OF GLASS
The breaking of glass is common at Jewish weddings. After the
ceremony, the groom stomps on a covered glass, usually a
wineglass, as the guests applaud. The reading generally given at
Jewish ceremonies relates this act to the lasting nature of
marriage vows, which are "just as permanent and final as the
breaking of glass is unchangeable." It also signifies the
frailty of human happiness; namely, a single thoughtless act,
breach of trust, or infidelity can damage a marriage in ways
that are very difficult to undo -- just as it would be so
difficult to undo the breaking of the glass.
THROWING RICE
The throwing of rice on the couple has always been symbolic of
wishing prosperity and good luck. In the Orient, throwing rice
means, "May you always have a full pantry." Wheat and other
grains are sometimes thrown in addition to rice, thereby also
wishing prosperity and lack of want. Due to personal safety
issues and environmental concerns, rice throwing in America has
since been replaced with popular alternatives such as blowing
bubbles or letting white balloons ascend in the air. In Italy
throwing confetti is customary, while the Greek prefer to throw
dates or almond candies.
OLD SHOES
The tradition of tying shoes to the back of the couple's car
stems from Tudor times. Back then, guests would throw shoes at
the bride and groom. If they or their carriage were hit, it
meant good luck was bestowed upon them. Throwing old shoes after
the bride is a sign that authority is being transferred from the
bride's father to her new husband. A variation is for the
bride's father to throw her shoe after the groom as a token of
his surrender of his daughter.
LOUD NOISES
In ancient times, loud noises were said to chase away evil
spirits, and during the ceremony, the guests would make noises
to keep the spirits away. Today, it is traditional that the
bridal party honks their car horns while leaving the ceremony.
JUMPING THE BROOM
The most widely known African American wedding tradition is
"jumping the broom". Thought to have originated during times of
slavery, the broom represented home in certain parts of Africa.
It was believed that whoever jumped over first or higher would
be boss of the household. This custom remains popular among
African American weddings, signifying their entrance into a new
life and the jump from a single and carefree life to a more
responsible domestic life with a partner.
WEDDING REEL
In the upper Midwestern states, a reception tradition is a
wedding reel. Wedding guests form two lines, and they pay a
dollar or more to dance with the newlyweds. The couple uses the
cash for their honeymoon.
RIBBON PULL
A wedding event called a "ribbon pull" is traditional to
Victorian weddings. A sterling silver charm is purchased for
each of the bridesmaids and engraved with a wish for the future.
Each charm is tied to a ribbon. The baker places the ribbon tied
charms between layers of the wedding cake as it is being
assembled. Before the bride and groom share the first slice of
cake, the bridesmaids gather so that each can pull one ribbon,
claiming a "ribbon pull" that holds the promise of her future.
SAWHORSING
Sawhorsing is an Italian tradition. The people in the village
would set up a sawhorse, a log and a double handle saw. The
newlyweds must saw the log apart with the prompting and cheering
of the crowd. When the job is finished and the log cut, it
symbolized that the man and woman must work together in all of
life's tasks.
CARRYING THE BRIDE OVER THE THRESHOLD
Generations ago it was considered lady-like for the new bride to
appear to be hesitant to "give herself" to her new husband,
whether or not she truly was. At the threshold to the bridal
chamber, the husband would often have to carry the bride over to
encourage her to go in. An older meaning is that during the days
of "Marriage by Capture," the bride was certainly not going to
go peacefully into the bridegroom's abode; thus, she was dragged
or carried across the threshold.
WEDDING INFARE
Many people may have never heard of the term infare, yet
are quite familiar with the tradition. In the 1880s, it was an
American custom for the bridegroom's parents to host an infare,
or a feast, on the day following the wedding. Today, this custom
has evolved into a Sunday brunch intended to give out-of-town
guests more opportunity to visit with family, friends, and other
wedding guests before returning home.
As many modern brides continue to follow in the footsteps of
their mothers and grandmothers, time-honored traditions are
allowed to carry on through generations. Others would rather
establish new trends, opting for more contemporary ceremonies
that liberate the bride from customs of earlier times and allow
more control in putting her creative stamp on the service. Each
bride must choose for herself what is best for her as she plans
what should be the most wonderful day of her life. Regardless of
how she chooses, one characteristic all wedding ceremonies have
in common, however, is that it is a time of great rejoicing for
everyone as family and friends come together to witness the
public commitment of two individuals in holy matrimony.
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