|
The
Etiquette Of Engagement Parties
By Peggy
Post
An
engagement party is a delightful way to announce the happy news
of a new engagement. It's often more casual than formal, and the
guest list can vary from just family to family, close friends,
and friends who may not attend the wedding. Here are some
guidelines to engagement parties.
-
Who
hosts the engagement party?
Anyone may host an engagement party for the couple. Usually,
however, it is the bride's parents who do so.
-
What
type of party is proper?
It may be any type of party, but it is most often a cocktail
party or a dinner.
-
Who
makes the engagement announcement?
The host, usually the bride's father, makes the engagement
official by proposing a toast to the couple when all the
guests have assembled. At a very large party, if the
announcement is not a surprise, the bride's fiancé stands
with her and her mother and is introduced as the guests
arrive.
-
Who is
invited?
The majority of engagement parties are restricted to
relatives and good friends of both families, but you may
invite anyone you choose. The people invited to the
engagement party are often those who will be your
top-priority wedding guests. Occasionally the engagement
party is a large open house or reception.
-
Are
gifts obligatory for engagement parties?
Engagement gifts have never been obligatory and are not
expected from casual friends and acquaintances. Still, they
are becoming customary in some parts of the country, usually
given to the couple by family members and close friends.
Often, specifically inviting guests to an engagement party
carries with it the implication that a gift is expected. If
the bride and groom choose not to receive engagement gifts
or don't want to burden others with an abundance of
wedding-related costs, they may simply surprise all (or
most) of the party guests with the announcement of their
engagement. Their big news is then treated as a celebration,
not as a gift-giving event.
Some
guests who know of the surprise ahead of time might bring gifts.
In this case, the couple sets the gifts aside and does not open
them during the party. If the gifts are opened in front of all,
those who did not bring a gift are made to feel uncomfortable.
If the party is a small dinner for very close friends and
family, gifts may or may not be brought by guests, depending on
the geographical, ethnic, and family customs. Those closest to
the couple who want to give a gift should do so in private and
not at the party. A good guideline for those who are attending a
small party but aren't sure: Ask the hosts of the party for
their guidance. The guests might then take a small gift as a
token of their love and affection. If everyone brings a gift and
there is time, the bride and groom may open their gifts and give
thanks in person. A follow-up thank-you note is therefore not
mandatory -- but it is always an excellent idea.
Gifts that are sent after an announcement appears or after a
party must always be acknowledged with a thank-you note.
 |
