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An
Introduction to Wedding Invitation Etiquette
By Megan
Bacalao Virkler, Crane & Co.
As our
society evolves, so does our etiquette. Many rules of etiquette
were made (and continue to be made) to deal with difficult and
changing social situations. Various aspects of etiquette have
changed over the years--things deemed acceptable now would have
horrified the previous generations, and likely, many of today's
rules may appear archaic and obsolete to a future generation.
At its
core, etiquette is based on common sense and courtesy. Your
guests need certain information to get them to your wedding--the
names of the hosts, what the event is, and the date, time, and
place. You want, of course, to convey this information to them
as graciously as possible. A courteous invitation makes all
your guests feel wanted and never hurts anybody's feelings.
At Crane &
Co., Paper Makers we receive many questions from brides
concerning proper wording for their wedding invitation and other
related items. This article has been written in an attempt to
answer some of those questions for you.
Some
Points to Remember
1.
Your wedding invitations will set the tone for your
wedding and will create your guests' first impressions. When
selecting the invitations, keep in mind what kind of wedding you
are having as your invitations and wedding should complement
each other.
2.
Wedding invitations should be ordered at least three
months in advance. This should leave you enough time for
engraving, addressing, and mailing.
3.
Your wedding invitations should be mailed four to six
weeks before the wedding.
Some
Frequently Asked Questions
1.
Should we
send engagement announcements?
Sending an engagement announcement is the best way to ensure
that all your friends and family hear about your engagement--it
certainly saves you making a lot of phone calls. Don't worry,
an announcement is not a request for a gift and no one who
receives an announcement should feel obligated to send you one.
2.
When
should we send rehearsal dinner invitations?
The
invitations to the dinner following a wedding rehearsal should
be sent out by the groom's family two weeks before the wedding.
The guest list traditionally includes just the wedding party,
but this has changed somewhat in recent years to also
accommodate the out-of-town guests.
3.
Should we
send save-the-date cards?
Save-the-date cards are invaluable when you are inviting a lot
of out-of-town guests, your wedding is over a holiday weekend,
or is in a vacation area. They are sent out at least three
months before your wedding and allow your guests to make their
plans ahead of time. Only your out-of-town guests need to
receive them, but it's a nice gesture to send them to your
in-town guests, too, lest they think that they are not invited.
4.
What kind
of paper should we use?
Crane's papers are made from 100% cotton. This has numerous
benefits, including that it is environmentally friendly and long
lasting. Your wedding invitation will look as beautiful on your
Golden Wedding Anniversary as it did on the day you sent it.
The color of the paper is a matter of personal preference.
Formal wedding invitations can be engraved on either white or
ecru, the latter being the color of choice in the Americas,
while white is preferred in Europe. The paper can either be
folded in half with the fold on the left-hand side, or a flat
card and can be either plain or paneled. The choice between the
two can depend on the typestyle--scripts look better on a plain
sheet, while block styles look good on paneled papers.
5.
What color
ink should we use?
Black or dark gray are the two most common colors used, and are
the most appropriate for formal invitations. Other colors may
be used for less formal weddings.
Whose
names should be on the invitation?
The hosts of the wedding issue the invitations; traditionally,
this would be the parents of the bride. However, it is becoming
more common for the bride and groom to appear as the hosts,
particularly if they are paying for the wedding alone. Usually,
only the bride's parents' names appear, but in Jewish tradition,
the groom's parents also appear on the invitation, under the
groom's name. Stepparents can be a tricky situation, and appear
depending on the personal choice of the couple and their
family. Courtesy is a big factor. Deceased family members'
names should not appear on the invitation, as they are not hosts
of the wedding. They can be honored in many other ways in the
wedding. The consultants at the Crane & Co., Paper Makers
stores will be able to guide you in this process.
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