Wedding Invitation Etiquette
By Jennifer
Bertan
Wedding invitation etiquette consists of a set of guidelines
which will assist you in the addressing and handling of your
wedding invitations. They are only guidelines and not hard and
fast rules that must be followed. This is your day and your
wedding invitations should reflect the personality of both the
bride and the groom.
In other words,
when planning your wedding use common sense! Don't spend all of
your time fretting over the "correct" way to do everything;
simply try and think through the decisions you make and how they
will effect your guest. The invitation though extremely
important is not worth screwing up your relationship with your
future-in-laws.
In regards to
your wedding invitations, you want to give your guest all of the
information they need to attend your wedding in the manner you
desire. You want to convey items such as dress code and the
inclusion or not of children in a manner that is both
informative and respectful, not offensive. With today's changing
families, you may have a question about including or not
including stepparents or both sets of parents in your wedding
invitation wording.
Below are a few
of the most common questions that I am asked.
1.
When do I include a separate
invitation to the reception?
When the ceremony and reception are being held at different
locations you may want to enclose a reception card with your
wedding invitation. The reception card is provided with the
envelope and will give specific information such as location and
the time of the reception. Also, if the guest list for the
ceremony is larger than that for the reception, you will want to
enclose a reception card only for those guests who are invited
to both the wedding and the reception.
2.
How should I properly address
the envelope to guest with children?
It is not proper wedding invitation etiquette to address
envelopes as Mr. and Mrs. Harold Greene and Family. Children
over the age of eighteen or living away from home should receive
their own invitation. If you do not wish to send each child
under the age of eighteen a separate invitation, you may write,
Miss Bethany Greene under the parent's name. On the inner
envelope you can simply write each child's name underneath the
parent's name. If you do not want children to be invited to the
wedding, do not put their names on the invitation. Any parents
receiving an invitation addressed strictly to them and not
including their children's name should understand and respect
your wishes.
3.
Addressing the inner envelope
to a close relative.
When addressing the inner envelope of your wedding invitation to
relatives, who are very dear to you, feel free to use the name
you have always called them by such as "Aunt Debbie and Uncle
Bobby" or "Grandpa." Even though you may be planning an elegant
affair, you still want to display your endearment to those
closest to you.
4.
How far in advance of the date
are invitations mailed to the guests?
Generally, the rule is to mail your invitation six to eight
weeks before the wedding date. However, if you are inviting many
guests who live out-of-state or are planning your wedding at a
holiday season, such as Christmas, you may want to mail them out
a few weeks sooner. This extra time will ensure that your guest
have plenty of time to arrange their travel schedules. Now that
many airlines and travel agencies offer specials to those
booking travel arrangements in advance, you might consider
sending a "save the date" announcement to your out of state
guests and provide them with the wedding date and hotel
information three months or more prior to the wedding.
5.
What should be the date on the
response set for the RSVP?
Generally, you should request that the guests let you know
whether they plan on attending the events two to three weeks
prior to the event. You will need that time to plan seating
arrangements, make up place cards and give the reception call a
realistic head count.
6.
How do I let my guest know that the reception is "black tie"?
In the past, most guests understood that a formal event after
six o'clock required the guest to wear formal attire. However,
today standards are somewhat more relaxed and you may need to
specify "Black tie" on your invitations if your want your guest
to dress accordingly. We suggest that you place the words "Black
tie" or "Black tie preferred" in the lower right-hand corner of
your wedding or reception invitation. Only use the phrase "Black
Tie Optional" if you want to give your guest the option of
formal attire or dressy casual. I have seen some invitations
with "Black tie invited” that seems to be a little snotty in my
humble opinion.
 |
