Wedding Planning

Ten Simple Rules for Successful Wedding Planning
by Holly Lefevre

When you first begin planning a wedding there are so many roads to take, so many decisions to make, and so many ways to go astray. At this amazing and crazy time in your life, take a minute to step back and organize your thoughts. Get a grasp on the project you have just undertaken, follow some seemingly simple steps, and wedding planning can be a wonderful experience.

1. Establish a budget and stick to it. This is often a neglected aspect of planning, not because of a lack of information on budgeting, but rather because no one really wants to talk about money and how little or how much they will be contributing. It is essential to get these numbers in order before making decisions. Too often couples book a reception location or a wedding day vendor without solid numbers in hand, only to find out they have overspent and are now bound by a contract. Big tip: Use a number for the budget that is 10-20% less than the “real” budget, so you have an emergency fund for all those extra expenses. Ultimately if you don’t need it for wedding expenses, you can put it in the bank or use it to do something special on your honeymoon.

2. If you have overzealous family members who won’t take a polite no for an answer when they ask to help, choose a task you are not passionate about and have them assist you with that. For example, maybe you have no real opinion of the type of favors you provide, but maybe your future mother-in-law does. Ask her to research ideas for you, and then let her know to come to you and your fiancé when she has a few favorites, so that a final decision can be made.

3. Hire professionals. When your best friend’s brother tells you he wants to be a wedding photographer, and will give you a great deal, it may seem tempting to jump on board. However, BIG word of caution. Hiring friends can often backfire. Expectations may not be met and friendships stressed. Also these friends may not have all the necessary experience or equipment to complete the task. Will your friend who aspires to be a florist have enough refrigeration for 20 centerpieces? Odds are against it. You hire professionals for their experience, expertise, and resources. True professionals will assist in making your day hassle free. You hire them, you can direct them, and the relationship is not personal.

4. Compare apples to apples. Too often when a bride begins her search for a reception location and for wedding vendors, she simply compares prices, not services or components of the services. It is rare that you will find two locations offering the exact same “package,” or two photographers that offer the same quality of service (i.e., time and style) and amount of product (i.e., prints and albums). You need to carefully evaluate each aspect of the potential venue or vendor. What seems too expensive at first glance may actually be a better deal when you realize what it offers compares to others in the same category.

5. Express yourself! Cookie cutter weddings have been out for awhile. Brides and groom continue to look for new ways to add personal pizzazz to their day. Giving your wedding personal style does not mean doing the same thing your friend did or even by doing what all the magazines and web sites say are “in.” Think out of the box. Hiring a wedding planner or event designer, even for a few hours, can help you be inspired and lead to amazing results. Instead of a guest book, have guests sign a coffee table book on a subject that is of interest to you. Learn an unexpected choreographed first dance, like the tango, and wow the crowd.

6. Surround yourself with the positive. When selecting a wedding party and asking other friends to be involved in the wedding, select people who have positive outlooks and will be there to “lookout for you,” not for themselves. Single girlfriends, your older single sister, even your brother may feel a little envious of your engagement. For most this is a passing phase, but that does not make it any easier to deal with. These people may criticize your decisions, attempt to have attention diverted away from you with their own theatrics, or simply try to make themselves the focus of many decisions (i.e., the style of the bridesmaid’s dresses, what foods they like or dislike for the meal, or which date for the wedding is “better” for her schedule). If and when this situation arises, try your best to walk away from and ignore it. Realize their behavior is not your fault, and if they must be included n the festivities, have your mother or a trusted friend intercept the stressful dealings with these people.

7. Make your ceremony mean something. Write your own vows and select special poems and readings. Even though the ceremony is really the only event that needs to take place on the wedding day, so many couples put little focus on the actual planning of the service itself. Is there a special or memorable song for you and your fiancé, perhaps the one that was playing the night he proposed. Why not walk the aisle to it and surprise your fiancé? Have you ever written a poem or love letter to your fiancé? Read it during the ceremony, or if nerves won’t allow you to read it yourself, have the Officiant read it for you. Look into your fiancés eyes during the ceremony and focus on the two of you.

8. Create a timeline for the wedding day. If you are not working with a wedding coordinator, it is your job to create a cohesive and orderly timeline for everyone to follow. Detail all key timing elements and activities that are to take place on the day. Include addresses of locations and who needs to be where and when. If you do not do this, your DJ, band, caterer, or photographer is going to take the reigns at the reception and establish his or her own agenda. Preparing one yourself is the only way to have the day transpire, as you would like. Of course, consult with the ceremony and reception venue, as well as key vendors regarding the timeline, but ultimately most all of the timeline decisions are up to you…if you plan ahead.

9. Ask for help when you need it. It is not uncommon for a bride or groom to become overwhelmed with wedding planning. It takes a lot of time and work. Typically there are many people knocking at your door anxious to help—your future mother in law, your mother, your sister, his sister, your married best friend, and your single best friend…the list can go on forever. When asking for help from friends or family members, give them specific instructions and deadlines. Also, make sure they know you still have final say. Hiring a professional wedding planner for wedding day services. She can help you pull all the details together, and create an itinerary, and manage the day’s events so you can be the bride, not the wedding coordinator.

10. When wedding planning seems to be taking over your life, take a break. Schedule a date with your fiancé and go to dinner, talk a walk, or just go for ice cream. There is only one rule—no wedding talk. Reconnect with the one you love and then get back to the planning with your mind and heart focused on the right things.

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