8 Questions
Brides Ask About Setting up a Wedding Registry
In theory, setting up a wedding
registry is simple. In practice, things are a little
more complicated -- but only a little!
In theory, setting up a registry is
simple. You decide on one or several stores, create
a registry online or in person, select various
items, and get the word out to your guests. In
practice, things are a little more complicated --
but only a little!
With that said, here's the real deal
on setting up your wedding registry and getting the
word out without offending your guests. Remember
that retailers can be an enormous help to both you
and your guests. At the same time, you can't take
everything they say at face value.
Q: Where should I register?
A: Chances are, if you're getting married in your
own town, you already know where "everyone goes" to
set up and shop from a registry. If not, and guests
are flying in from far away, pick from some
bride-tested standbys likely to be present almost
anywhere. Macy's has a great reputation for
registries, as does Williams-Sonoma, Bed Bath &
Beyond and other retailers.
Before you choose your stores, be
sure to stop by a wedding forum and get feedback
from brides who have been there, done that. Store
policies vary quite dramatically, ranging from the
easy-does-it (who'll give you cash back for returns
off the registry, no questions asked) to the
extremely restrictive (who'll only let you exchange
for another item *in that department*, requires a
receipt for each item, and so on). You'll want to
know about these policies and the store's overall
reputation for bridal friendliness before you go in,
or returns and exchanges could become a big hassle.
Q: I have a wide range of interests.
How many stores should I register at?
A: Two to three stores is fairly typical. They don't
have to be typical stores, though. If you're a wine
drinker, and live in a state where it's legal to
ship wine, set up a registry at one of the great
online wine merchants.
Q: When should I register?
A: Although close family members may pressure you to
start earlier, it's helpful to wait three to six
months before the wedding. Not only are the vast
majority of gifts bought within a day or so of the
shower or ceremony itself, stores turn over
merchandise so rapidly that any gifts you select
earlier may be discontinued.
Q: What if I already have all the
kitchen appliances and throw pillows I need?
A: Consider putting together a honeymoon registry
instead, so guests can contribute toward a special
meal or snorkeling trip or a night's lodging during
your honeymoon.
Q: When I signed up at Store X, they
gave me a bunch of attractive registry cards to
enclose with my wedding invitations. Should I do it,
or is that tacky?
A: Sorry, but the consensus is almost universal --
it's uncouth to include any mention of gifts in your
invitations. You can, however, tuck those cards into
shower invitations. Perhaps the best solution is to
include a note in your invitations that reads,
"Please see our wedding web site at www.xyz.com" and
place your registry information there.
Q: How many gifts should I register
for? I don't want to look demanding.
A: Typically, you'll want to select two or three
items per guest. That gives people room to choose
instead of locking them into something they don't
enjoy buying, or worse, forcing them to guess what
else you might like, giving birth to the "second
yogurt maker" type of gift.
If you have many guests, you can
avoid creating a 16-page monstrosity for them to
print out by breaking up your registry over several
stores.
At the end of the day, "more is
more." Many retailers offer discounts on those items
you registered for but didn't receive. Many stores
also retain your registry for at least 12 months
after the wedding. You may find it's best to
register for everything that you plan to buy, even
if you don't expect to get it as a gift; you can
then purchase your selections for 10% or 20% off
after the ceremony. Many brides also find friends
and family tapping registries for gift buying ideas
for birthdays and other holidays!
Q: What price range should I stick
with when selecting items?
A: Generally, you should register for things you
really feel you want or need, without worrying too
much about the price. Some guests enjoy picking up a
number of items in the low price range, and
sometimes guests will group together to purchase
bigger-ticket items.
Q: I've set up my registry just fine,
but now I'm addicted to checking it online. How can
I stop?
A: Sorry, there's no known antidote for
registry-checking addiction, though it's a
widespread phenomenon. Counting to ten, taking deep
breaths or distracting yourself with double-fudge
ice cream might be worth a shot.
By Blake Kritzberg
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