Writing Wedding Vows
When two people are in love, they are often of the opinion
that theirs is a bond so unique and profound that
nothing exists in writing that could possibly
express it. Writing your own wedding vows is the
best way to guarantee that your wedding ceremony
will accurately portray the individual nature of
your relationship and bond to one another.
However, if you are not a brilliant writer or an
eloquent public speaker (which puts you in with 98
percent of the general population) this can be a
very scary prospect. Questions and doubts may freeze
you in your tracks. Never fear, here are some tips
to help make the process relatively painless.
There are some important factors to consider before
you get started. Your wedding ceremony will have
many different components, and the exchange of vows,
though of course the most important, is only one of
them. Take into account how much time you want to
spend on each part of your ceremony as a whole (i.e.
speeches, music, blessings, etc.) and how much of
that time you want to dedicate to the exchange of
vows. If you are uncertain about your public
speaking skills, you will not want to be
long-winded. After all, this is supposed to be the
most joyous occasion of your life, not one that you
dread and suffer through. Remember that the simplest
statements are often the most profound.
Next you should think about the core message that
you wish to convey. Why do you want to marry this
person? What is the one thing that you most want to
tell them? What is the unique thing about them that
you most love? What do you treasure and appreciate
most about your relationship? As you muse about your
partner, scribble down anything that comes to mind,
no matter how far-fetched or silly it seems. 'Free
writing' is the best way to loosen yourself up while
establishing groundwork for what you really want to
say. After you have a reasonably complete list, put
it away for a while and do something else. When you
come back to it later, you can pick and choose
sentences and phrases to organize and include in
your vows.
When writing vows together, the couple is
considering the nature of their relationship, past,
present and future. Reflect on how you met, why you
were attracted to each other, how your friendship
and romance grew. Reflect on your first date, first
kiss, and all of the events leading up to the
present. Then continue the train of thought into
your hopes for the future and your promises to each
other for your future together. Where will you be
fifty years from now? Try to think of these things
in terms of a continuum instead of separate
concepts.
Remember also that you are speaking to a community
of friends and family and not just to each other.
Therefore, you will have to bear in mind that this
is a ceremony of solemnization of your union and is
after all legally binding, so it should sound
official. What this means is that it should clearly
communicate your promise to each other, which is the
main point of what you're working on anyway. Just
check with the officiant who will be performing your
ceremony. If they consider your vows appropriately
'official', run with it.
If you follow these steps, you will be well on your
way to writing the right words to express what your
bond means to you.
Written by Marial Smith
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