Renewing Your
Wedding Vows
A vow renewal ceremony is a special way to declare your
continuing commitment to your spouse before family and friends.
The ceremony can occur any time after your original wedding.
Couples who eloped or had a "destination" wedding may choose to
renew their vows shortly after the original wedding at a
gathering for the family and friends who were unable to attend
the wedding. Others may choose to renew their vows on a special
anniversary, such as the 10th, 15th, or 25th.
Some couples choose to publicly recommit themselves to one
another after going through a difficult period in their lives.
Since the couple is already married, there are differences
between a vow renewal ceremony and a wedding. Following are some
of the differences to consider:
Since the ceremony is symbolic, not legal, a minister or judge
does not need to perform it, nor do you need to obtain a
marriage license. You might choose to ask a father, grandfather,
or a special friend to perform the ceremony, thus making it very
personal.
Personalize your vows if you have been married for a number of
years. You might mention occurrences during past years and hopes
for your future together, giving special meaning to the
occasion.
Since the wife is already married, her father should not "give"
her in marriage. He may walk her down the aisle, however, then
place her hand in her husband's.
Because the wife is not a bride and the husband is not a groom,
there are no bridesmaids or groomsmen in a vow renewal ceremony.
Instead, if the couple wants to have attendants, they might ask
their children, parents, or friends that have had a major impact
on their lives to stand with them. You might also ask your
original wedding attendants to again stand with you.
The length of time since the original wedding will dictate what
the wife wears. It is not appropriate for a married woman to
wear a blusher (a veil over her face), but she may wear a white
dress. If she was recently married, she might wear her gown and
veil again. However, if she has been married for several years,
a wedding gown and veil would no longer be appropriate. Instead,
a formal gown might be worn, or a dress, or even slacks if the
ceremony is casual.
Since rings were exchanged at the original wedding, the exchange
of rings is not included in a vow renewal ceremony unless the
wife will receive a new ring or an anniversary ring.
Couples should not register for gifts or have a bridal shower
even if they were recently married. Most guests will not bring
gifts unless the vow renewal occurs immediately after the
original marriage or on a "milestone" anniversary, such as the
25th or 50th.
If you have children, you may want to include them in the
ceremony in some capacity.
Don't use a vow renewal as an occasion to live out your
fantasies of the dream wedding you didn't have. Instead, keep it
simple and dignified and related to the length of time that you
have been married.
Do display items from the original wedding, if possible. If you
were recently married, you might show the wedding video and
photos. Those who have been married for several years might
display their wedding photos, play the original wedding music,
or have a baker re-create the original wedding cake.
A vow renewal ceremony is a wonderful way to reaffirm your
commitment and love for your spouse before family and friends.
The ceremony can strengthen your relationship as you create new
memories together.
Article Written By
Glenna Tooman
Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC
Glenna Tooman is the owner of Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC.
She specializes in planning unique and personal events while
keeping the client's budget in mind. Glenna is an
internationally recognized authority on wedding and event
planning. She is also the author of a regional wedding guide
"The Commonsense Guide to Planning Your Wedding."
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